Clock was beating for 2 o’clock in the night.Ceiling fan was doing it’s job stoplessly very well providing me a background covering music which was dissolving my crying sounds in the dark room. Eyes were all red and wet with the lifetime companions ‘tears’ making the weird faces and chattering teeth, shaking cheeks I was crying out loudly but wanted to cry even more loudly and unconsciously to free up my soul from all the things which made me like this (the hated person).
A thousands of times thought of suicide peeped into me and hundreds of times I have tried it in many ways. I took my hands to neck to grab it forcefully so all the vessels and nerves will be cracked and explode but hands failed everytime returning to my head, disturbing the messed hairs all along. Even I have blocked my inhalation through nose by pressing it with fingers which was also turned out to be unsuccessful.
My mind was saggy with the handful of thoughts which were more than enough to tolerate this life. Nothing is to do for me. For what sake I’m here? No advantage of me to anybody but still I’m here spending life with this crowded world around me which is busy in ignoring me. No one is loyal here and now I’m also not. So I can’t live with such fakeness. I know k I’m not living happily and not letting other people live their life happily. Then why should I be here? I just don’t want to. Lift me from this whorl. It’s better to die alone at once rather than escaping life every time and finding opportunities to run away from people and their boastful mouths every minute. I’m damn sure that no one is going to miss me coz there is nothing to change without me or not a single thing is better because of me. At last no one is yours(as mine).
Clock reminded me of the existing world again beeping a thrice continuously. Made me wipe out blackened under eyes stained with the kajal which I use to make my eyes look live which are really dead now-a-days. Accidentally my eyes stayed on the mirror which was staring at me since an hour in the lightening shine. I was helplessly watching me covering my mouth to avoid another more loud crying shout to come out but the trafficking liquid of my eyes bursted out like a horny wave attacking the shore caressely. Curtaining all the above thoughts beneath the slept eyes unwantedly, I prayed for the no life tomorrow. I should have been found dead with no responsibility to breath again and not to take in that life saving air into me which was killing me every single time I have breathed. I’ll die happily..kill me..
– A lornsoul
What would you all tell this girl about life? Some reasons to live life!!! Comment down to help her out.